Catching Up

Well its been a fun week had by all here.

On Sunday our friend Emmett flew up from down south, he brought his new Fiancée Alesia and she is drop dead gorgeous. He then flew Alesia and I up to the lodge, man that has to be a way better way to get there than 2 hours bumping and boucing along dirt tracks and crossing rivers.

The boys have done a huge job up there and the rooms are very comfortable looking and as Speedi says, they are functional (man talk for needs furniture and a ladies touch). The whole place has an army type look about it, the containers are painted drab browns and greens, there are heaps of camouflage type nets over things. In fact from the air you cant see anything until you are quite close and then all you notice is a small clearing for a helicopter to land in. Speedi they have done that so they don’t get rat bags wrecking the place when no one is there.

We spent about 2 hours up there, had a ball.

On Tuesday evening Emm and Alesia flew up in the company plane, it’s a Cessna I think. He took the girls and Jas for a flight over ChCh, he buzzed Sandy’s place, flew over the city and along the beach. The Girls think uncle Emmett is kind neat.

Let me say Sandy was not amused, I knew where they were because Sandy rang and asked me was the idiot up in the plane, I actually thought she was talking about Bear (ooops sorry Bear), but no she thought it was Emmett or someone that wanted to land on her house.

The farm is doing really well, we have been doing some long overdue maintenance and Jas has built a new concrete patio for the girls and I to play ladies of leisure, I think that’s his way of saying we are a pack of lazy ladies. Well why not when he encourages it by building patios for us to be lazy on.

Last night was the first night in years we didn’t do trick or treat nor were tricked or treated, it’s a bit far to let the kids wander, but we are going to make up for it with guy fawkes, we are going into town to buy up a swag banger thingys and Speedi says he will make some for us (OMG don’t ask). We are planning a BBQ night and have neighbours and friends coming Bear is bringing Linda and sandy out, Mal and Catherine will be there as will Speedi and Paula. The Garden crowd are bringing extended family and the neighbours all are keen. So we will have around 30 people here for the big bang.

Bear and speedi are rebuilding an old land rover, Bear brought it and it was a mess, so they have stripped it down and are rebuilding it so they can use it to run up to the lodge, when I first saw it I thought Bear had found it in a river or something, but no he actually paid good money for it, however now with all the parts painted and spread around Speedi garage things look a lot better.

Bear has finally got his gun licence so its nice his armoury is now legal, up to now all the guns he owned (again don’t ask) were stored at speedis who has gun licence, in fact he seems to have several different types for some odd reason.

This weekend Speedi , Mal and Emmet are flying south (weather permitting) they are going fishing somewhere, I think on the West Coast.

My little family are having a quiet weekend home, I have a lot of office work to catch up on and jas always has farm work, the girls will be out riding I expect.

Anyway that’s the news for this week, you all take care now

Lots of Love to you all

Life on the Farm

We have had a very busy few days out here, cleaning up sheep and drenching the stock. The girls have been busy mothering lambs and baby alpacas, they certainly have taken to being country girls.

I watched them just the other day wandering back from feeding some orphan lambs, buckets and bottles in hand, scruffy jeans and pink gumboots, I just cant help but wonder where my city girls went. They are growing up so quickly it is almost scary.

We had Michele and her new boyfriend over for tea last night, Neil is a really neat guy and is the son of a neighbour so it keeps it all nice and cozy. Neil has been helping Michele make some changes to Michele's place (Bears old farm) and he has made an awesome job of extending an all round veranda.

The Gardens next door have taken a slight step backwards as the officialdom is creating havoc with the timetable, its really frustrating and annoying for the guys and girls over there. The Gardens themselves are beautiful and will look even better around Xmas - new year time. It is such a shame that rules and regulations are holding back such a wonderful project.

Speaking of Xmas we are putting on a large Xmas dinner and party for family and friends, then we are taking a break away down in Queenstown, we will be meeting up with Bear down there who is taking a few days off with Mal to explore the Queenstown region.

Ohh curses I forgot to mention, Mal is back to live, currently he is staying with Speedi and stays at the lodge a lot, he seems to spend all his time working up there. I haven't been up to the lodge for sometime but I am told progress up there is going well.

Well apart from the work on the farm the girls and I have been avid gardeners, and yes we are even eating out of said garden, but of course it also helps that across the fence some very nice friends have planted acres of vegetables.

Well I must away, Jas is coming in for a cuppa.

Love to you all.

Its a long weekend already

Its really hard to believe just how fast the year goes around, I can still remember my last Labour weekend like it was yesterday.

Well I know its been an age since I last wrote, not a lot has happened so their seemed little value in my waffle. Things between Jas and I have improved, we went to counselling and that has helped a lot and now we are talking so much I wish would just shudup.... no not really its actually great.
The girls are so much happier now as well.

We have made some changes to the farm, mainly in extending some pastures and making a couple smaller. We have the opportunity to buy 10 acres from next door so we are going through the negotiation process at the moment.

The gardens next door look a picture, Kurt had hoped to have them opened by this weekend but the plan didn't work out as they are still having issues with the council.

The really good news is Paula is pregnant, silly girl didn't want to tell me for fear it would upset me, but good god I'm so happy for her and Speedi. Their house looks wonderful and I envy them the view, but I don't envy them the wind which hits the house with great gusto. They have planned tree shelter belts which will no doubt help.

We have Sandy staying for the weekend, its awesome because the girls tease her and have so much fun, its odd how they seem to bring her out of herself.

Bear is going into hospital in November to have his leg looked at, he is quite crippled at the moment. I haven't seem much of him though Speedi tells me he has been up at the lodge a lot. Bear and Speedi have been installing solar panels up there. Apparently he often stays up there and does some writing. Speedi says Bear got caught up in the lodge in the snow last week, I bet he loved that. I see his blog is going well so obviously he is getting PC time.

Not much other news here, today we are off to town for some R & R.

Oh the other good news is the hospital said I could have another baby, but not just yet; Jas and I have talked about it but we are not sure now we want to risk losing another and going through all that hurt. Time will tell.

Well we are about to leave for town, so I will say toodles for now.

Yet another day goes by.

Hi all

Its been a difficult day here today, Jas and I seem to be on a bumpy road at the moment, much of it is I guess my fault because I have been depressed, but also it is not helped by the fact Jason wont talk to me about losing our baby.
He simply says "its happened, lets just move on", its much like he lost a favourite calf and nothing more. So as a consequence we have had a day of quarrels, nothing too serious but the energy is building and I am worried.

Bear is here for the night and he and Jas have gone for a walk, they have been gone over 2 hours and now its dark, so it must be some walk; but I am hoping bear can talk to Jason. Its not all Jason's fault, I know I have been depressed but I really think I am working through that, its just that I am the sort of person that needs to talk things through; and if I cant do this with my husband who can I do it with.

I have talked with Jason's Gran about somethings and she has been lovely, but I have to be careful there because she is Jason's Gran and I don't want anything to spoil the great relationship they have. Michele and Paula have been awesome and its through those two ladies I am making my way through this really dark cloud I seemed to have dragged around with me, but I really want Jas and I to sit down and talk our feelings through.

Bear says Jason is not a touchy feely person, that because of his past he has had to put a lid on a lot of emotions, but that doesn't really work when you are in a relationship and have lost a baby.

On a new tangent the girls have told me I need a new baby, boy that went down well over dinner, they want all the baby stuff back and that will make me and them happier.

Kurt came over this afternoon bleeding like a stuck pig, he had a chain saw accident when a piece of wood splintered and dug into his leg. We  cleaned him up and he has gone home. I do like Kurt a lot, he is a lovely man and very approachable.  His daughters family over in Darfield are great, in fact their children are coming to stay with us this weekend, my lot love having other children stay over; lucky old me.

I finally found bears wargame blog, I never truly knew what war-gaming was, I have seen and painted some of his little lead men once but that was the extent of my knowledge; but this afternoon I stumbled on to his and other war-gaming blogs and its quite weird :-).
I always remember my Pop having a model train set, and I mean it was huge it took up our double garage, he loved it and spent hours out there on summer nights and on weekends, but when mum died he just sold it all off. I think I thought of war-gaming like that, men playing with toy soldiers, but Bear assures me its not. The odd thing was it seemed alright for a grown man to "play" with trains yet I shake my head in confusion when I think of bear bent over a table with toy soldiers or whatever.


Well I can hear voices, so I best go.

Love to you all.

Trying to get back in the Groove

Good Morning to you all

Its been a very low start to the week but I am finally doing things constructively rather than dragging my bottom around the house.

On Sunday we took the girls away for a few hours and dear Kurt and Michele came over and packed up the baby things and moved them out for us. I had got to the point I could not even go into the baby room without breaking down into a mess, so as much as I have not wanted the things taken away I realised it had to be done.

We have had a quiet weekend as I mentioned we went for a drive, spent a few hours with Gran and then visited Speedi and Paula. Their place is doing very well and looks lovely now.

Yesterday I went over to the gardens and spent a few hours in and out of the rain helping out there that made feel really good. The place looks a picture now, but Kurt is still having council issues so not much being done other than gardening.

Bear hasn’t been around a lot, in fact I have only seen him once since we came back from our honeymoon and that was when I was in hospital. He has changed a lot from what I hear., he was certainly odd when he came and saw me.  He sold his farm but by the time he paid mortgages etc he didn’t come out with much and what he has went into a part share in the lodge. Speedi says he has spent a lot of time there working on the Cabins.

Sandy says he is in and out of her place, uses it as a gaming place with his mates but she says he doesn’t stay over much anymore. Which means he is probably staying up at the lodge if Speedi is correct?

Mal wrote to say he is coming back to live here in about 2 weeks, he is moving in with Speedi and Paula for a while until he gets things organised. He has sent a huge container of survival stuff to Speedi, I don’t know what Survival stuff amounts too but there must be a lot of it going by the size of the container. I think the idea is to keep some and sell the rest.

From what Speedi tells me the Lodge is doing very well, they have 4 containers locked together as a building; it can sleep 4 people with its own kitchen, showers and store room. They have built 2 log Cabins and are working on another two, Bear has been up there with a chain saw felling trees for the logs, Kurt has helped there for a day he says its great but not for him. I gather he isn’t much of a survivalist and I think I am there with him, perhaps I like my comforts too much and tend to live for the now and not the “what if”. The “what ifs” scare me too much, especially when I think about my little girls, yes I know it is what bear calls the Ostrich syndrome, but then he has only himself to think off.

I think the biggest issue is it takes so long to get there and it is very rough going, I found when I was pregnant I had to stop going because the constant rocking, rolling and bumping was just too much.

The farm is back in shape, the lambing went well as did the calves, it is so nice to see the place starting to get that spring/summery look.

I guess now we have to start thinking about Xmas and what we are going to do, obviously it is going to be a lot different than we thought but we will be having a lot of fun.

I am back - sort of

I wish to thank those of you who emailed me as well as my firends who sent cards and I hope I have replied to you all, if I did not it was I couldnt find a return address, so please one and all I thnak you for your kind thoughts.

This last month started as one of the happiest in my life with our marriage and ended one of the saddest with the "passing away" of our unborn Son Aaron.

Aaron miscarried at 5 months, and he has left a hole in our lives I doubt we will ever fill. I have been told it is unlikely I will ever have another baby. While this has devastated me, I know it has crushed Jas because he had so much wanted his own baby son.
We are both trying to deal with the consequences of all this while also trying to run a farm and try and keep things on an even keel for our two girls. It has been hard and we could not have managed it if we did not have the friends who have come and been there for us.

I especially want to thank Gran, Michele, Sandy, Kurt, Speedi and Paula; you have all been great and I love you all dearly.

I will write more when I am able too, but even thinking and writing just turns me into a mess, so I will be writing again, but no more today.

Our Baby died.

Hello

I am Jason Anne's husband I am writing to let all our friends know Anne and I lost our baby son who miscarried at 5 months. Please understand if Anne doesnt blog for a while, obviously we are all trying to come to terms with the loss.

Jason