Home

Well we are home after an absolutely lovely weekend. The girls and I had a huge amount of fun and despite a rude start this morning that looked like we would be abandoned so the men could do farm work, my darling man came back and stayed with us for the day.

I did see Bear by himself sitting in the tractor getting bounced around by the post rammer, its one good way to lose weight I guess.

Jason, the girls and I went for a drive, we called into the woman that is friends with Bear, her name is Pauline but for some reason she is called Paula by the locals; Jason knows her very well and she is lovely person. I would love to see her and Bear get along but she says he is just a good friend.

We went for a walk and Jason showed me places and tales that have happened in the area, a lot involving our Mr Bear. Apparently they had a lot of trouble in the area with gangs and bikies or some such, for a while Jason took the children away, Bear stayed and looked after both farms. It seems there are some mysterious events that occurred in that time but Jason said whatever it was it worked because they stopped coming back.

When we left the farm this afternoon  Jason loaded the car up with beef and lamb from the farm freezer so Pop and I will not be buying meat for a very long time.

When I got home Pop had the fire going so the house was nice and warm, which was very welcome  indeed.

Looking back on the weekend I have to say it was a revelation, Jason and I talked about our future and if things continue as they are I will be moving out to the farm at the end of the school year. Meanwhile it’s just a case of running back and forth.

Im not sure how I feel about having Bear living next door, there can be complications as he is not the sort of man that just drops relationships. Several times I noticed he put his arms out to hug me and then quickly pulled them down, admittedy these were automatic reflex actions but they dont help him move on, sometimes I had the feeling he disapproved of things Jason and I were doing.

I know this sounds awful, and I did talk to Bear about it, I don’t want to lose him as a friend, but I don’t want him interfering in the relationship I have with Jason.

This morning’s escapade over the fencing was a classic example where he would have been quite happy to have Jason help him at the expense of the plans Jason and I had made last night.

Bear says he accepts things as they are, but he also added that Jason needs to keep focus on the farm, it is only a month since Ewing passed away and in that time Jason has spent a lot of his time in town when the farm needs him.

What a load of rubbish, he has only stayed 3 nights in the last month, so I think it might be  a case of jealousy on behalf of our Bear. I hope I am wrong and I know he might read this but there is nothing written here that I didn’t say to him.

But overall I feel my relationship with Bear is definitely over and I am picking I won’t see a lot of him, which would make me sad. However I have to work on the relationship I have not the one I had.

The girls and Jason are getting on very well and I think the little talk I had with them seems to have helped a lot. In fact apart from the times Bear was at Jason’s place the girls hardly saw him or even spoke about him.

I think now that Bear has his Gardens and nursery underway he doesn’t need anyone.

Well I must go and get the girls clothes ready for school organised.

Take care and stay warm.

I hate Mornings, they come at the wrong time of the day.

Ok Ok I get it, people on farms don’t sleep in, even on Sundays; arrrrggghhh.

I have been up way before the damn roosters, chattering seagulls and of course those ever chattering black birds. The sheep baaaaa and the dogs woofed and Jason grunted, and it all seemed to happen at once.

I staggered out of bed, put the jug on for a coffee so I could face the world, I must have looked like death warmed up, only to see a smiling Mr Bear through the window sitting on the terrace.

Now I don’t know when he sleeps and I did think I heard the car hours ago, but a peek through sleepy eyelids assured me it was dark, Sunday morning so no sane person would be about; I was partially right.

He is very pleased with himself apparently, he has managed to get his Alpacas back and he now intends to put them somewhere in the Gardens. Hopefully behind fences I asked, but the raised eyelids answered what was apparently a stupid question.

So the next stupid question was how he arranged this between last night when he had no Alpacas and this morning when he has, the answer I assumed was people in the country don’t sleep.

Well again partially right, he and his Toff (dog) went for a walk this morning because THEY couldn’t sleep, on the way home he came across the guy who had Bears Alpacas (he probably could not sleep either, likely because of the Alpacas bleeting or whatever Alpacas do in the wee hours of the morning). Anyway this guy doesn’t want them as he is selling up his farm, so he has offered them back to Mr Bear, Bear talked his way into getting them back for nothing If he can take them this week.

So naturally Mr Bear hopes in the car and races around to the Gardens to plot where they are to go, remember it is still dark.

He has now already pegged out where the bleeting Alpacas will be housed and now needs to get the yards up ASAP.  He wanted to know if Jason still had any fence posts he didn’t want, hence he was sitting on the door step with a thermos of coffee waiting for some mug (me) to stagger out of bed.

So Bear and I have had our coffee and toast and the kids and Jason alike have just struggled up, I can only imagine what Jason thought when he saw Mr. Bear and I sitting at the table, me still in my nightie and dressing gown.

Good news for Bear is yes Jason has some posts but not enough, not a problem Bear says I know where I can get some more, now I am thinking some poor farmer will wake up in the morning and find his fences have disappeared over night, well I just hope it’s not Jason’s.

I asked Mr Bear how he was getting on with his web site, he grumped he didn’t want to tell me, because I would put it all over the web, never I said

http://ewbiegardensandplantnursery.devhub.com/

I wouldn’t do that, so he told me;’ that will teach you for arriving on my doorstep before I get my face on.

So today Jason and Bear are sourcing fence posts, Jason has already rung his friend to borrow the post rammer and fencing is in order today, so there goes my quiet day with my man on the farm.

Im not pleased but I am learning whatever needs doing on the farm comes before pleasing the little lady in the house; well I might take the girls and go for a drive. Yes Jason I will take the phone so I can call when I get lost.

So for now its time for breakfast for the tribe on hand, Bear has wondered off to his Gardens, obviously very pleased with himself, he has got his fence posts, he has gone the rammer thingy and he has got my man to help him.

“Curse you, you Mr Bear”

Well nothing for it but for me to go and make girly playful noises with my man and we will see where Jason really wants to be today.

Kyle you are on family watch for a while.

See you all later

Saturday night in the country

It has been a very interesting day out here and we have all had a ball.

Jason has worked extremely hard, both he and Kyle really do put their backs into the farm.

Occasionally the girls and I went out to help and both guys were extremely patient with us in trying to explain what we were doing wrong, which at one stage seemed to be everything.

The girls wanted to play with the two working dogs until Jason explained that they actually have to work, not learn how to play, boy was he unpopular.

We were saved by the timely arrival of my friend Carol, so I went off to do the ladies thing and entertain. I was really keen to introduce her to Bear but the cunning sod was nowhere to be seen. At first I thought he might still be in town so I rang Pop and no he was meant to come in but had rung to tell Pop he would not make it today.

Eventually we located him hiding in the nursery and I know he had to have seen us looking and calling for him. I dragged him away for a coffee with Carol and I, I have to say I was disappointed in Bear. He made no real effort to join in the conversation and really only answered when spoken directly too, even Jason noticed it and that says a lot for my man.

All Bear wanted to do was get back to the nursery and when Carol said she had to go, bear was out of the house like a marathon runner and considering she was meant to stay the night it was clear this relationship wasn’t going anywhere. So yes I have learnt my lesson and won’t meddle, much.

Carol said he was nice but obviously too busy for a woman in his life, and I have to agree at the moment he is like a man possessed. Jason went and spoke to him after Carol had left and apparently Bear ripped stripes off him about me trying to match make, so that was it no more.

I went around to Bears place after dinner tonight to invite him around for a evening with company, but no he was fine on his own as he is working on a web site for the gardens, he is going to log his progress as the nursery/gardens makes progress. We talked about Carol and yes he was angry with me but he truly is like a teddy bear and he soon calmed down, however he has made me promise not to match make, I did as he asked  but with my fingers crossed.

Jason told me tonight there was a lady he actually got on very well with, she lived just down the road from Bear and was separated or divorced; I think he said her name was Paula (no not Paula my friend), so I must find out more.

I have to say it is quite different driving at night in the country than in the city, it didn’t help that I missed the turn off to the farm on the way back, so I had to ring Jason and ask where on earth the farm was. I was about 5 miles past the turn off, I see I will need some luminous paint for the pole, not that I would expect to be out at night anyway.

The girls are watching TV tonight, Jason and Kyle are playing cards and I am meant to be working. So I suppose I best get down to it.

Stay safe and keep warm.

In the country

Well it is a fresh but gorgeous morning out here, I could very easily fall in love with the country and that is saying a lot for a city girl.

Jason is already up and away, he has a routine apparently so I am trying to fit into it, so I am having my own little journey of discovery.

At 6:00am we go out and check around the farm implement sheds and yards etc, then we walk down to the postal box to get the paper, after which we wander back to start our breakfast. Except this morning he has the little woman getting him breakfast and this morning he has a rather blury eyed princess called Carla wandering along beside him undoubtedly asking hundred of questions.

Meanwhile my other little Princess still has city habits and is glued to the TV watching children’s programs.

Kyle is snoring and Kelly is helping me in the kitchen.

Jason wanted to take us all out and about but I want him to do what he needs to do so we can all just see how we can fit in. So this morning he is working on the ploughs, sharpening them or something and later he sorting through things down in the implement sheds.

Kyle is going to move the sheep and feed out and I am going to watch all the activity from the terrace while I endeavour to get back into my painting, before which I have to do house work.

Bear worked really late, we were in bed when we heard the ute go down the road so it was after midnight, I haven’t seen him and now his phone doesn’t work because yesterday he brought a new one, he has not bothered to tell us what it is. I can’t decide if that’s on purpose or an over sight so I will let him decide for me.

He did say he was going into town this morning to swap cars back with Pop but he needed the Ute first thing before he left, so there is a chance we will see him sometime in the morning.

Carol has text me she is coming out for the night but has to be back for night shift tomorrow night, so I have a small window of opportunity to introduce her to Bear, if I can pin him down somewhere. So that means I have to get him here for dinner tonight.

Well I best go and finish getting breakfast ready I can see my man and my little girl wandering down the road on their way back; god I could love this life.

Blessings to you all

Home with the fire.

Well we are here at Jason’s farm in Oxford. I’m sitting in front of a roaring fire with laptop on my knee, children watching DVD’s and my man just going out to check things on the farm before settling down for the night. It’s freezing outside and I suspect we could be in for a heavy frost, but then I don’t know this area very well and I could be so very wrong.

Jason and the girls went into Rangiora to pick up Kyle and Kelly, I took the chance to go and look at Bears place and I have to say it is a picture. The house is a transformation and boy those builders have done him proud, and not to forget my Bear and his own contribution which included painting the interior into the evenings often as late as midnight.

He has pastel pink walls, very light pink carpet (which will show every mark) and with some of my furniture sprinkled about it looks lovely. I would love to own it.

Bear is very different here than back in town, I don’t know what it is but obviously he is comfortable with what he has here. I am trying to talk him out of selling the house, it is warm with a nice fire, it is modern and it is a beautiful place, he could be so happy here.

But he says he needs the money for the nursery and I suppose the dream becomes for material comforts, at least in Bears mind.

When I got back to Jason’s place the kids were back and Jason and I spent some time wandering around his place. It’s lovely being with him, he is funny, gentle and mischievous. I love walking the farm hand in hand it feels so right for me.

I can say quite openly I have fallen for him, but I’m not telling him that yet. There is still the age thing I feel nervous about and that’s with Paula’s jibes about him being my toy boy aside.

 It is a beautiful farm, he was very keen to show me his completed fences and though I don’t know a lot about fencing they look excellent, but it must have taken him a long time to do so much on his own.

We wandered over to Bears nursery and had a poke around and again I simply cannot believe these men get so much done so much on their own, Bear is 62 years old and what I have seen by way of transformation between the last time I was here and this time is huge.

He has 2 of his 3 tunnel houses repaired, he has started on the Olive grove, and the glass house is yet to be done, cleaned and repaired.

He has made a new driveway and I had a look at his lavender fields and there are signs he has started there, all that and painting his house at night, remarkable.

I have just seen Pops car (loaned by Bear for the night) go down to the nursery, so obviously Bear is in for another long night, I do worry he is pushing himself and his dream too much. I have my friend coming out tomorrow, I have great hopes for both of them, though neither really know of my cunning scheming match making plans.

Well I see the torch light of my man coming across the paddock, so I best go and get dinner out of the oven.

Friday Mid day.

I have just had Mr Bear drop in for a late morning coffee, he is on his way home after having gone to the hospital for a check up. The really exciting news is he is cancer free, this is awesome news and means he can get on with his life with out that worry hanging over his head.

This afternoon he is ripping up the ground with a tractor getting it  ready for the olive trees, he says the first will go in around very late winter or early spring, he intends to do 200 eventually, he has 150 growing in pots now.

This weekend he intends to clean up the lavender area, he has a very large area of Grosso Lavenders, several hundred I think, well there are just rows and rows of them. Sadly the previous owner Ewing, had let them go and the ground is weedy and the plants were not harvested last year, so Mr Bear says he will likely only get 1 good cutting this season once he has trimmed them back.

So he has been and gone, I am really excited for him that the Cancer that has been looming over him from time to time seems to be finally over. The really interesting thing is the doctors have appointed a dietition to work out his diets as he has put on a lot of weight, well good luck with him lady.
Funny thing is he doesnt seem to eat a lot, but the weight certainly is an issue. I think its more emotional and psychological that for the last year he has just drifted, I am willing to bet now he has a nursery and it requires lots of hard physical work he will be losing weight very quickly.

The other good thing for Bear today is he has the carpet layers putting down nice light pink carpet down in his new house, pink in a farm house... men arrrggghhhh.

I read this morning that the rents in Christchurch are being doubled, there are house now being rented for $1,100 a week up from $450 -$500 a week prior to the earthquakes. The rent increase is caused both by the shortage of good dry and warm housing and the fact that corporations are taking up the better ones for their staff as more and more construction is being done in Christchurch.
This means the local people on low wages or no jobs cannot afford the rental accomadations currently available. Even the property managers are saying the landlords are price gouging.
No housing crisis in Christchurch, get off yer fat arse Brownlee and get amongst the people.

Pops lady friend who knows a lady who is in a similar situation to my friend Cynthia says her situation has improved a little because she has people staying on her property in house trucks, so they are helping her by keeping the marauders and vandals away.
I talked to Cynthia about moving in with her but she wont move, so this is becoming a big issue. I have asked her to come and stay at my place over the weekend while I am away, that way she could wash, bath and be warm and safe; she says she will decide later today.

I have both girls home today, both are just over or just getting over the stomach bug, we are now loading the car getting ready to go and stay on Jasons farm for the weekend.
I will be taking my lap top so I can do my work and keep in touch with you guys, so for now the lil Princesses and I are off.

Bye and be safe.

Friday

So Mr. (Excuse me that wasn’t a earthquake, it was my indigestion) Brownlee Minister in Charge of Earthquake recovery doubts there is a red zone homeless issue. Naturally he says that from his nice comfortable office that is fortunately situated not that far from the cafeteria in Parliament.

If he actually bothered to read the countless complaints (including mine) that should cross his desk he would discover not only homeless people but vulnerable people (elderly and sick) who are afraid to leave their damaged homes. Mr. (Where the hell is the Menu) Brownlee cannot be bothered with those people, he would simply disparage those who are concerned. Well Brownlee look under the menu on your desk, or it may be under the Napkin, but there are letters from people like me who are concerned and who do know of Homeless and vulnerable people.

Get off you fat backside and go and do your job.

Hmmm I feel a little better now, sorry about that my dears, but Mr Brownlee the Government Minister for earthquake recovery sits in Parliament and just rubbishes people who try to point out to him the issues in our broken city.

Now to more pleasant issues, my cunning plan to introduce Bear to Carol unfolded today, Carol isn’t well and won’t be at work, so I am hoping she will be ok to come out to Jason’s farm over the weekend and I may still get the chance to introduce them.

Jason rang this morning and we had our 30 minute chat, he has a lot on today, so I will only hear from him 3 or 4 times. We are packing up tonight and going out to stay on his farm this weekend.

He wants me to move some of my things out there, but that won’t be happening for a while yet. I have talked to him about the issues I am having with the girls missing Mr. Bear and he understands it will take time.

The girls and I had a big talk about why Mr. Bear and I went our own ways, but sadly I don’t think children can easily understand the complexities adults can get themselves into. To them despite what they say I know in their hearts they miss the big lug. Good grief I do miss him as well, apart from the practicalities that he was always doing for me, I miss his gentle nudging and reassuring hugs, but most important the drive and support he gave me.

However the girls do understand how I feel, I just need to realise that there is a bond that Bear and the girls have, the good thing is that on the farm this weekend Mr. Bear is just across the fence in his nursery.

I missed my art class this week, and as I looked at my paintings I find I am missing the drive (and time) to sit down and get back into painting. I would much rather look through my favourite artist blogs rather than put brush to canvass. It infuriates me that I get into these lethargic energies, I have been here before and I know it will pass. I am hoping a weekend out on the farm will reinvigorate me and my love for painting.

Well I best get going, without Mr. Bear here I have housework to do.

Grrrrr

All my love and please stay safe

A Radical Woman!

It’s been a fun day today.

I went out to Kiapoi (A rural town near Christchurch) to take part in a protest against the Government and CERA (Canterbury Earthquake Recovery Agency) for their hugely inept handling of the earthquake recovery. I went with Jason and Bear and it went very well, that is except as Bear claims except for some screaming female Banshee, I do object to be calling a Banshee; but I was loud as I do get carried away on this subject.

Bear stuck it out with me, but Jason was in the back ground cringing, what a wuss.

I had a brilliant day, Jason stayed in all day and Pop looked after the kids while Jason and I went out and about and then we met up with Bear at the protest meeting.

Not sure what Bear did apart from the shopping and we left him later this afternoon. I do worry about him; he is making himself a very lonely person. He says he feels the best he has for years and he has new energy and a very promising future so he doesn’t want complications. Quite honestly relationships need not be complications, they can be fun and if done in the right way very supportive. I know Bear has not had a lot of luck in his last two relationships and I feel guilty for my part in that, but he is a man with a huge heart of gold and despite his protestations he is just craving for some woman to love him.

I have a really neat friend (Carol) who would make great company for him, but he says he is not interested, but I am such a pushy lady I have already conspired a way for them to meet, I know when he meets her they will hit it off.

Bear will be in for a while tomorrow as he has Hospital appointments and as my friend works at the hospital I am going to go in with him to ensure they meet, if they don’t then she will be coming out on the weekend.

Jason has left for the farm tonight, I sure will miss him. Pop says he thinks I have a problem, the girls really are upset that bear and I broke up, they want him back here. So I am going to sit down with them this evening so we can talk this through. I have already done this, but perhaps I didn’t listen enough to them and I was telling them how I felt, tonight I will redress that.

Well I best go and have our mummy talk with the imps.

Love to you all.

Its Thursday already

Wow it never rains when it pours.
This morning for breakfast there are the girls and I, Jason, Pop and Bear.

Pop is moving stuff to his girlfriends place today so he is swapping cars back with Bear. Jason, well he just hasnt got to leave yet, he is a very moochy morning person which means I get a weeks worth of hugs and cuddles by the hour; mind you I am not complaining.

I have 2 sick girls home today, though Talia is improving and should be good to go school tomorrow, we will wait and see on that.

A whole bundle of work has arrived for me, so I have to get it done quickly as I dont want to take work with me to the farm, but Im picking with two girls home I will.

Bear is taking Pops lady shopping this morning, so he is doing mine, Jason offered but at least Bear knows his way around my shopping list.

Well I have bacon and eggs on the go so I best play Ms organised.

Stay safe and warm

Just a note before dinner

I have had a lovely day here today; pop has cut the firewood that Bear left here yesterday, Talia has been home with a stomach bug but she has been a quiet little princess and let her mummy get on with her work.

I suspect Carla may be coming down with the bug, she is a little pale but she says she is feeling alright, so we will see how that pans out.

I have Jason here at the moment, he is wallowing in a bath and then he is taking us all out for dinner, no where flash just to get out for a while, he is staying the night (smirk).

He says Bear has been flat out on the nursery and even has managed to get the electricity down there working, he had finished the second coat of paint in the lounge of his house by 10:30 this morning so he is really pushing hard. Jason said he worked down on the nursery until late, he thinks he heard him go home around 11oclock last night. I haven’t heard from him which is a bit sad, and the girls keep asking when they will see him; sadly probably not until the weekend if then depending on what he is doing.

I have managed to finish and get all my work away, my boss was so impressed he has increased my work load, more to come tomorrow; now that will teach me to be such a clever woman.

Well I best go have a shower, I can hear the bath emptying so its my turn, and then hopefully we are away, if I get time I will drop a note down later; if not then I will be on my usual time in the morning.

OMG Jason is out and all umm pink and clean, imagine that.

Byeeee

Wednesday and its cold

Good Morning to you all.

It is fine and brisky with quite a heavy frost here this morning. I have one little girl home with a stomach bug so she is wrapped up in front of the fire watching TV.

Pop is here getting ready to cut the firewood that Bear dropped off yesterday.

I have heard from Jason this morning and he is about to go back out on the fencing, I haven’t heard from Bear nor did I expect to.

I am back to finishing of a pile of work, I had made good progress yesterday only to have more arrive this morning by courier, none the less I am not complaining because the pay is good and I get to work from home; I am a lucky girl I know.

I talked to Pops lady friend about Cynthia this morning, she has a friend on the otherside of town in a similar situation but her house isn’t in such bad repair as Cynthia’s, she was going to talk to her friend who lives alone amongst devastation to see if she would like  some company. I know the challenge is to get Cynthia out of her situation and she is such an obstinate biddy, but I am sure Pop and I can go to work on her.

As you probably are aware I am very passionate about the people in our city that are suffering because of the layers of officialdom that is between the desperate people and the beautiful people sitting in glass towers and going home to nice warm homes at night.

The well meaning words and the almost sarcastic sympathy that wallows out from the glass towers is insulting to say the least.

Why talk about Roofs over sports fields, or how beautiful the CDB will look when 4-5 miles from the supposed beautiful centre people area living and dying in appalling conditions. For two years people have been told they could not have wood burning fires in their houses because of air pollution, now two years later they actually have come to the conclusion people cannot afford the exorbitant power prices to keep warm and they are freezing to death. The glass towers have now rescinded their on high proclamation about wood burners, but do they admit the error of their ways, oh no its “because the situation changed”.

Well excuse me you idiots it changed two years ago you, you ^%$#*& people. Grrrr

Ok Anne calm down, good strong coffee should do it.

Well now that is better, I will take of my radical hat and don the Mommy hat and go and see my

Little angel who is really awake while pretending to be asleep, it won’t last long Pop has just started up the chain saw.

And now my day is complete, my beloved man Jason has just text to say he loves me and he is coming in tonight, well that makes the world better’ doesn’t it?

Siiigghhhhh

Bit sad for Cynthia

Its been a quiet night here, Jason didn’t come in, the poor babe was exhausted after fencing all day.

My youngest daughter Talia is not well and running a high temperature, there has been a lot of sickness at her school and she has now come down with it as well. Poor hon is not having a good night with vomits and sweats.

I had one of my oldest friends over tonight, Cynthia was moms best friend and she has sort of taken me under her wing. The poor woman is getting quite distraught over the house repairs that are not being done. Since the earthquake June 2011 she still has no working toilet and has to use a chemical toilet. This for an old lady who is 80 years old has to wander down the road to empty the toilet into the containers provided.

They have told her they can’t repair her sewerage because the water level is too high and because she is not in the red zone and the actual damage to the house is not all that bad she doesn’t get any Government or local council help, she simply gets over looked. She can’t sell her house and she won’t leave because vandals will just wreck it, so she is trapped. The insurance company say their hands are tied because the fault can’t be repaired, i.e. the water level.

Both Pop and I have chased up the Earthquake Recovery People to do something, but they just come back with the same crap, the water level is too high and they can’t relay the pipes, she has to wait. We have tried repeatedly to get her to move in here but she won’t hear of it, so our hands are tied, all we can do is make sure she has warm meals and we do the washing etc for her.

Cynthia is a real battler, a proud woman who asks for nothing apart from the basics, she does not live that far away so she comes here quite often for a bath and sometimes and only very occasionally just to get a good night’s sleep. There are a lot of empty house around her home and at night she says she can hear the vandals and thieves breaking into nearby houses, she sleeps with the lights on all night and she has a very large black Lab that is fiercely protective of her, so the local scum give her house a wide berth.

Her husband was in a elderly care home at the time of the earthquake and the home was damaged/destroyed and all the elderly people had to be moved out, Jack died 6 weeks later, the greatest tragedy is he was moved from Christchurch to Auckland into a temporary home until they could find somewhere for them to go, and like so many others the shock of the earthquake and being torn away from everything familiar was too much.

For Cynthia she not only had her own dilemma with the house, the man she lived with for 50+ years was taken away and died without her being able to see him.

It just seems so unfair that there are still elderly people living in our city in very sub standard housing. Now that the media hype has passed and the earthquake recovery people talk about rebuilding the city business people and the large sports complexes, there are people like Cynthia who lived in a beautiful house that was kept spotlessly clean, now through no fault of their own sand literally is now living in squalor in our city.

There are many people like Cynthia in our city, who not only had damaged homes they had the embarrassment of having to plead for help just to get by.

The all too common sayings that sprang up at the time of the earthquakes

Be strong Christchurch

Rise up

Stay strong

They are hollow words, and that is all they are; until we as citizens make the supposed leaders of our city and nation see the absolute squalor some of our citizens are being forced to live in. It’s not only the elderly, the poor, single mothers and a whole gambit of people who have struggled for so long, where is the justice, where is the humanity that make 80 year old people struggle to hold their lives together.

Cynthia has said so many times that she wishes she would just die so she could be with Jack, but alas God has other tasks for her.

God if you are listening, our Cynthia is tasked out, give her a break.

Tuesday waffles

I am sure I have a daughter who is on her way to the Oscars. I went and watched her school play today and what a little trooper. She did not miss a word or a move, the only problem is she is still in the roll though the play finished several hours ago.

We came home to find Bear had dropped off a huge load of pallets for fire wood and that he had gone back to get more for himself. He is using the pallets to put pot plants on in his nursery; he thought I would need some firewood so he got me a load as well. I rung Pop to tell him and he will be around tomorrow with the chain saw.

Bear said he has finished painting the lounge ( light pastel pink, so not like Bear), he will give it another coat tomorrow and on Thursday he has the carpet people coming in, all courtesy of insurance. He decided not to work outside today because the wind was freezing cold with occasional rain, so he came in here where we have a sunny day with a cool wind.

I have had 3 calls from Jason and numerous photos from his cell phone off the work he has done, I wonder if that man feels like I have a need to check up on him. Well I don’t, I would much rather see more of him rather than a line of fence posts.

You know the seasons are all wonky, we have had frosts, snow and all manner of nasties and yet I have lettuces coming up; whats that about in mid winter.

Well I must get away for now, hopefully I can write more tonight, but for now thank you for dropping by.

(WOW almost 800 hits in a month or around 24 hits a day, I so thank you all for your interest and support).

Tuesday - a quiet one I hope.

Tuesday bounces back again.

I am looking forward to today as my little Princess is in a school play so I am going along this afternoon to watch. She has been so excited for so long and of course we have been rehearsing her lines with everyone, and I mean everyone from Kyle to bears dog Toffy.

I had a very enjoyable evening with Jason, we talked for hours and it seemed like just 15-20 mins. He got away home around 1:00am, so I am picking he may be a little tired today.

No word from Bear but I assume I will now be placed on that outer rim of people that he acknowledges when he has time. He becomes so focused on the things that are important to him he often forgets the others around him. That sounds like I am complaining and I am certainly not, it’s just I do understand how Bear works.

Apart from watching my little actress, today is going to be one of full on work; yesterday was a bit messy so I need to get the routine back.

Jason has a full day today as he is repairing old fencing, a project he thinks will take a few days, he and Bear are also putting new fencing along their new boundaries. Jason is worried that the new driveway Bear has flattened out with the tractor will turn into a sea of mud in heavy rain, it has no top layer of gravel, but then Bear is limited to what he can do by finances until he sells his own farm. He told Jason he doesn’t expect the actual nursery to open until mid summer, but the online part will be ready for spring but with limited stock this year.

During the week Kelly and Kyle stay with their Gran and usually go out to the farm on weekends, so the girls and I are really looking forward to seeing them all, including Gran.

Jason said he hopes to be in again tonight, I asked him not too but he can be such an obstinate man that short of banning him from my door he does as he wishes, so we will see.

Monday night again

Well its been a good day here for everyone, especially for me as Jason is on his way in from the farm.

Bear is staying at his place tonight out at Oxford he is painting the interior tomorrow, which really annoys me because he just moved all the furniture in. We had agreed that I would picck the colours and help, but now I am guessing that IM not part of the scene that idea has been superseded. However he wants it done by the weekend as he has big plans on the nursery all weekend.

He certainly gave me a telling off over putting his pics on, but as I told him he should be proud of his work not hiding it, but he is adamant until the nursery is ready he wants no more pics, I will try to be good but I do have some here which look interesting.

Pop enjoyed himself out there today and he came back full of praise for what Bear has done in such a short time, sadly he still seems to bear a grudge against Jason and the only thing I can put it down to is the age thing. However he did say rather grudgingly that Jason’s farm looks a treat.

Pop moves in with his “girl friend” this weekend, so that is a good thing. In truth they are a real odd couple, Pop is such a down to earth man while his lady friend is quite dour and withdrawn. Having said that though she has taken Pop under her wing and he is much better for it, his health has improved and he is looking after himself better. Her health always varies, she has numerous issues and they will keep Pop on his toes.

I am really looking forward to seeing Jason tonight, the girls wanted to wait up until he gets here but I want them in bed by then. He isnt staying Paula, he is just coming in for a few hours or so he claims and quite frankly I dont want him to stay, at least not yet.

Well I best go, I have some school homework to check before I chase my little chicks off to bed.

Be save and stay warm.

Bear and Pops work

Bear and Pop took off earlier this morning with the last of the Germination seed beds, Bear needed an extra pair of hands to help him move furniture in his house. The idea is Bear will sell his farm and buy the land he is currently leasing from Jason and then put a small cabin on the Nursery site. It means he is living very close to Jason, which hopefully is a good thing, but close enough to be a nuisance for either of them.

Bear has just sent me some Pics of his work so far, his camera is a very basic one so I have tried to clear up the Pictures for him, not all that successfully it seems.

Below is one of the three small tunnel houses he has, he has just finished repairing this one almost from scratch, he says the next challenge is getting the plants organised in side, tand then  finishing the other two.The other two tunnelhouses are in better condition and slightly bigger, but he says it will be costly doing the repairs.

Below are some of the olive cuttings Bear did on the weekend, repotted and cleaned up.

Below are one of the three seed Germination Beds Bear and Pop have ready, they have heating pads emplaced apparently.

This afternoon Bear and Pop are putting furniture in his new house to get it ready for sale, most of the furniture is spare furniture from my place or Pops place.

Well there are more pics but most are very rough as his camera doesnt have a very good zoom, I will see what I can do to clean them up or try and get him to take more.
I just heard from bear and I told him I put the pics on my Blog and he growled at me, he doesnt want the nursery seen until its ready. Arrrgghhh doesnt seem like I can do anything right.
I havent heard from Jason since this morning, I expect the farm is keeping him busy.

Things a little better today

Well I have had a very full morning already, wow this place can buzz sometimes.

It’s not yet 8:30 and I have had a courier arrive with some more work for me, Pop arrive to take the girls to school and Bear arrive to take the girls to school, 2 emails from Jason and 1 phone call from him and Paula.

Hmmm probably means the rest of the day will be quiet, which would be nice so I can onto my work load which looks a little daunting this morning.

As I said Pop arrived early and I was getting a little concerned because he was slipping into his daughter/Pop monologue which means I get lectured, fortunately Bear arrived and he helped settle Pop down for me.

I wish I had the maturity those two guys had, sometimes with both them hovering around I feel like the little girl. It’s not that either of them treats me like a little girl, far from it, but I get all anxious and defensive when they just seem to “understand” things.

To tell the truth I don’t know if Bear is hurting or not, he is always so in control of himself. Pop and Bear have had a big talk out on the verandah and later in the man cave (my garage) and Bear has reassured Pop that Jason is not the idiot that Pop has decided to portray him as.

He is a hard worker and that is one of the problems I saw in him earlier on, but I have also seen another side of him in that when he is not working he is a lot of fun and very conscious of his family responsibilities, probably even more than Bear would be.

Jason has brought his brother and sister up through a lot of trials and tribulations over the years, his mother was at best a drug taking biker girl and she lost custody of the children a few years ago. Jason with a watchful eye from his Gran mother and Bear took on the responsibility of looking after the kids and that has been his focus since. If he is a workaholic it is because he has taken on that daunting mantel for a young man, it is also why he found it hard to have a girl friend of the same age.

So though he is young in years he is very mature in attitude and what I like he is respectful of Bear and Pop, even though Pop has found it hard to give him a fair go.

I get on very well with Jason’s family Kelly is just like my own two girls and Kyle well he is a hair raising teenager but he does have a respectful aspect to him. He is a very intelligent young man, many years ahead of boys his own age and quite a genius in inventing things. Kyle would without a doubt be the one who gives the family its trials, his high level of intelligence often ends up being portrayed as a superior attitude over others, but Jason has learnt how to bring him back down to earth.

Both Jason and Kyle keep a very watchful eye over Kelly. She is extremely pretty young lady, she is quite shy and quite nervous. Jason says she finds it very hard to make friends but is learning to do so once more.

It is obvious she sees Bear as a father or Gran father figure and I noticed on the weekend if Kyle or anyone said anything disparaging about Bear, Kelly ran to his defence in an instant.  

So Bear and I have had a big talk about the weekend, he says he always knew there was a very big chance things would go the way they have; so he was not surprised. That’s nice for him because I certainly didn’t know it would end up as it did. Though as last week past I knew I was having doubts about how I felt between Bear and Jason.

Whether Jason and I ever have a chance at a relationship I guess only time will tell, he is certainly keen to pursue that aspect however I am not repeating the mistake I made last time, I will take it slow and steady.

Pop, Bear and I talked about Bears nursery this morning “Ewbie Garden and Nursery Centre” is going to be largely a online nursery with limited door sales.

He says Ewing had left a mess of plants both in the ground and in pots, the biggest challenge is to repair the tunnel houses and as quick as possible and get the plants that are in pots cleaned up and repaired or repotted or bagged.

Bear has just finished one smaller tunnel house and has repotted some 150 Olive cuttings which he intends to plant out into a orchard as part of the Gardens.

He and Pop are out in my garage at the moment building 3 large seed raising beds which Bear will take out to the nursery.

There is a large area of lavenders that have been let go, Bear said he often pestered Ewing to let him take over the lavender garden but Ewing kept saying no he wanted to do it. Thus in the end they became quite neglected so Bear is staring to clean that area up. He wants to extend that and start developing the lavenders.

Using Jason’s tractor and blade, Bear has cleared land for a new driveway and a parking a small area, all this in a matter of two weeks.

It appears Ewing had great ideas for his farm re the plants, but something happened and the energy for the scheme fell away, so Bear is going to pick up the ball and run with it.

I fear it will be too much work for him alone, but I know it really isn’t for me so I will keep out of it.

Though the nursery is on Jason’s land, it actually isn’t that close to Jason’s house in fact it’s about 1.5 – 2 Kilometers away at the end of his farm, which is good because it means both have distance from each other to run their own operations.  It also means Bear is not just over the fence which is good if Jason and I do decide to start a closer relationship.

All I have to do now is find some woman for Bear, definitely a woman closer to his own age, I already have two in mind I am just not certain how to swing it. If Bear thinks I am matchmaking there will be a calamitous row.

The men have come in for a coffee, I am just being told of a momentous decision, Pop and Bear will exchange cars when Bear is out at on his farm/nursery. Pop has an “ international” ute with a large flat deck which is very useful for farm work and as Pop can use my car or even Bears car it works out rather well. When Bear stays in town then he can use his or my car so its all going to end up well I think.

The other momentous news I have just learnt this morning is Pop is moving in with his lady friend.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa at last.

I just need to find my Bear a friendly bear type lady.

Not a Happy day.

Well my day has been a very sad one with lots of tears.

My Bear and I have decided that we should perhaps step back from the relationship issue and just stay good friends.

This has come about because of a lot of soul searching today, too much wine last night in which Jason and I were rather stupid and behaved abominably.

Bear had very little or no wine to drink last night because he wanted to be out at the nursery early this morning, so he went to bed early. Jason and I stayed on drinking wine and talking and got a little too familiar and were caught by Bear who had got up to go to the toilet and saw us in a rather passionate embrace.

He was ok about it, in fact he simply walked off and went to bed; this morning he simply suggested that perhaps I should have a think about where I want to be and what sort of person I want in a relationship.
The problem I have with Mr Bear is I wish sometimes he would just lose his cool and get angry instead of being so in control of his emotions, however I decided to do as he suggested.

In doing this I have looked at myself more than Bear and I am not really proud of the person I sometimes can be. I try to be an open and honest person and yes that means I do leave myself open to hurt and ridicule. I realised a long time ago that I am not an easy person to live with but Mr Bear took all my peculiarities in his stride, as I did his I think.

First I realise I have looked on Bear as I do my father, he is of the same age as Pop and I tend to lean on him as my elder rather than my partner.

Because of the age difference we have different priorities, Bear doesn’t need people; he needs a purpose. Without purpose he drifts and when he drifts he can be aimless and lethargic.

I do need people and over the last few days I had to say in all honesty I have loved my time with Jason and his brother and sister, he is more fun orientated than Bear and right now its the joy of life that I want or need

When I met Bear he had no purpose in his life, he had just come from a broken relationship, hurting from that with no real idea of what he wanted to do. The girls and I became his purpose, he loved us, cared for us and did everything from dishes to house repairs; he tried everything to please us and he did that hugely.

But when Jason offered him an area of his farm to lease so Bear could start his nursery I saw the  change and he was truly happy, he now had his own purpose and goals and now he is happy and motivated. He wants to live near his nursery and be there full time. I was happy to do that, but there was something missing in our relationship and I think it was the fun out of life aspect I was worried about losing.

Bear has the maturity to see me for who and what I am, and I know I am foolish and I know once again Bear has been hurt, but it was he who suggested that perhaps what he offered was not what I needed and on reflection today I have agreed. Its not a very tactful way for him to find out and quite frankly if I hadnt had so much fun and been a little tipsy perhaps I would have learnt to be happy with my Bear.

What I have done to Bear has hurt me hugely, and I have just told the girls and they are bit sad, but they have had Kyle and Kelly around today to humour them, so I doubt it will hit them just yet.

I don’t know where Jason and I stand, he says he wants to be with me; but he is very young and I dont want to become to him, what Bear was to me. Besides we hardly know each other beyond kissing and cuddling.

I think Bear will still be living here for a while, if I know him he will simply move back to his room, but I know he will leave soon so he can be on site with his true love, his nursery. He has been out there all afternoon, I have spoken to him and told him basically what I have written here, he is ok with it.

I was concerned it was going to cause trouble between Jason and Bear, but they both are old friends and it has not caused any issues.
Bear said there is no blame, it is simply one of the turns life throws at us, when that corner came up instead of going straight ahead I took a turn of the road, jeeez wish I could see life as that simple.

I rang my father to tell him and I got a real talking too, so I know I have disappointed Pop who got on very well with Bear.

Jason has been here with me all day and we have talked things through, we are not an item as I think I have done enough damage for now, but we have agreed that we want to continue to see each other as much as possible. He has invited the children and I out to the farm next weekend and I have agreed to go.

The odd thing is I don’t feel as happy as I thought I would in having the chance to be with Jason, I just think sometimes I am such a foolish person, I want to make sure this time it is right.

I  have spoken to Paula and she is happy for me, she has always seen the age bracket between Bear and I as an issue,  I did not and still do not; to me it was we just have different roads to travel.

I have just heard from Bear by phone again, he has decided to call his nursery “Ewbie Gardens” in honour of his friend who left his farm to Jason and from that made all this possible for him, sadly he has said he will stay at his place tonight and comein early tomorrow to take the girls to school and then we can have a talk. I am really looking forward to that, NOT.

The one thing I am sure of is now he is the master of his own destiny those gardens and nursery will be the best he can make them.
I am glad he is happy, if he truly is, but right now I feel like a heel.

Saturday Night.

What a absolutely brilliant day, both weather wise and in fun.

Today I went out with my two girls and Jason and his siblings to Orana Wildlife Park, we were to go to Willowbank but as Jason had not been to Orana park and he was shouting we went there.

I have to say it is sometime since I have been there and I just cannot praise them for how well they have developed the park, everything was beautiful and the staff very courteous. We spent several hours there and feed everything in sight, sometimes two or three times. I wish Bear had been there with us as that would have made the day perfect. The girls were exhausted from running around from area to area, fortunately Kyle took them in hand and he was like a big brother to them.

He told me he likes them so much he wants to buy them, cheeky sod, besides he couldn’t afford them ooops.

Jason and I had a quiet walk around together, we chatted away like we had known each other for years, I now know he is interested in a relationship with me, I had to put the cooler on that and he took it very well.

From the park we went for a drive to Rangiora and had afternoon tea there. From there we went out to his farm, I must say I am hugely impressed with the work Bear has done on the nursery, good grief no wonder he was coming home sore and tired. He has not only resurrected the shade houses and glass house but he has started work on cleaning the potted plants that have been neglected.

The girls rode a horse and a cow; we had a BBQ dinner there and then he brought us home. I came home feeling like a little girl that had been treated all day, it was such a different time out, like nothing I have done ever.

The kids will be in bed early tonight as they are exhausted, Bear brought a cask of wine so we are having a quiet night chatting.

Bear says he had a “bloody good one” when we came home he and his friends were busy on the table pouring over maps and planning some big campaign.

All the guys heaped praise on the figures I have painted for Bear, I was so pleased because I could see how proud Bear was of me.

The “guys” went home not so long ago, so we are just settling down to a night in.

So Im off to be entertained by my boys, and Paula I’m sorry we missed you, I did ring but obviously your phone was off.

All my love and stay safe.

Blessings