Thursday Night

It has been a beautiful day to day, the heavy frost disappeared around noon and thankfully the roads have been thawing out.

The girls have been really good today, they have played quietly and even helped around the house which is something new, I suspect Bears influence may be having a good effect on them.

I heard from Bear not so long ago, he is staying up country tonight at his friends place. Ewing was hurt yesterday when he fell from the back of a trailer while feeding out to his sheep, he has broken his collar bone and is being looked after by his son Jason. Bear decided to stay overnight and will be back in town tomorrow morning.

Bear says the snow has hit his farm really badly; a branch came down and cut the power line to his house, so the builders haven’t been there today as the power line people have been too busy with other downed lines. They didn't come yesterday because of the snow and he says its unlikely they will be there tomorrow because the power is still not connected.

I have had some other bad news today and I am more than a little worried. My Ex rang today to say he will be in Christchurch this weekend and he wants to see the girls and talk to me.

I have no problem him seeing the girls as long as he is sober, but certainly not if he has been drinking as he is particularly nasty to them when he has had too much to drink.

I am picking he wants a reconciliation but as far as I am concerned the violence he demonstrated in the last few months of our relationship will never be repeated, he is not coming back.

I have spoken to the girls and they don’t want to see him because they are afraid of him, but I think it will be ok if I am with them.

He wanted to stay here but I told him I have a new man in my life and that cut the conversation really short. I will give him a chance to come and see the girls, but I am not really interested in having him here longer than necessary.

I haven’t told Bear yet, and I am not sure how he will react to this.

The girls and I have had big talks today about their father and Bear, the vote goes they want Bear here full time, and I can confess I do too. Paula I know you will be horrified but I think I have fallen for the old man. He is kind and gentle and asks for nothing but has been helpful and loving to me and gentle and fun with the girls. I know we both decided we were not in the right space for a relationship, but at least I think I am getting there. I just need to know his feelings for his ex have changed and from what I have heard in passing I think he has made that shift too.

He has made several attempts by way of emailing her to see if she and the kids were ok following some recent earthquakes, she doesn’t bother replying so it’s clear she has moved on, now my Bear needs to as well.

Well that’s all from us until tomorrow.