OMG What an afternoon

OMG What an afternoon.

I have met the most gorgeous men, and I do not say that lightly. Mal and Speedi are two of Bears friends; they are both roughly the same age I would guess in their early 40’s. Both are quite tall Mal would be well over 6ft I guess and Speedi around 6ft but where Speedi is lean and muscular Mal is Huge and all muscle.

Both are quite handsome and extremely well mannered, and of course both are Americans. They were extremely polite I have never been called Maam so many times, I must confess I was kind of pleasantly getting used to it until Bear told them “just call her Anne”; I could have kicked him.

Both of them work in Wellington, though Mal has been in New Zealand for some time, Speedi has been here before but has just this week arrived back from the US. He brought his 2 sons with him and they are drop dead gorgeous as well. Trouble there for my girls who are way younger than them but oh boy those two lads would rock any young ladies boat.

We all met at the airport and then had coffee and just had small talk, then we came into town, but parted ways at the Palms, I think Mal and Speedi are heading out to Spencer Park Motor camp, as that is where we are meeting up tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will meet some more of Bears friends, I think they are Jason, his younger brother and sister and I think their father whose name I have just forgotten. There will also be some other people but good grief after being in the company of those two gorgeous men, god my brain is so much mush.

I know my girl friends will pester me to come, especially knowing there are single men and just happen to be very good looking, but sorry girls just allow me one weekend to wallow in my dreams.

Other news then...

Well Pop and Bear spent the morning going along Locksley Ave, that’s where Pop used to live and I had a house further round the river nearer the rowing club, but today they went back to both places and uplifted the plants we had left there. Initially we didn’t worry too much about the garden it was back then a case of getting out quickly, however now that Pop has got quite a large glass house up and I hope to have one in a few weeks they decided to not let the frosts do more damage to them than it already has.

The other nice thing to happen is I have just finished painting some of Bears models and if you could have seen the happiness on his face you would know that it takes very little to make my big Bear a happy man.

Well then I must go and be a mummy and cook dinner, I wonder what Bear, Mal and Speedi are doing for dinner; I never even thought to invite them, stupid, stupid, stupid.

Later edited to the above

We are not going to Spencer park rather we are going to Mals place at Oxford, yaaaaaaa I hope I get to see Bears place, Mal and Speedi have erected a very large army type tent according to my Bear, who is once more on the couch and snoring already.
He came home rather tipsy and very happy, nice to see him relaxing as he does get to look very tired and tense quite often, he is very funny when he has had a few; even more funny was he kissed me. I never thought I was the type of woman that a man had to get tipsy before he could kiss her, I wonder whether he will remember in the morning, Im sure he will and there will bring on awkward moments for him; yaaaaa. Love them moments.

Deep thoughts once more

Brrrrr its cold outside this morning, must be quite a frost but I am not putting a toe out until I have had 3 cups of coffee and decent sunlight, or I have too leave because I am late.

The morning has started rather beautifully, all four of us wrapped up in blankets on the couch watching TV while eating breakfast. The girls are busy grilling Bear about his friends coming today, they are really excited and its so neat to see them having things to look forward to.

I must confess as a Mother I must be a really boring person, prior to Bear arriving on our scene

we rarely went far, mainly because everything was so expensive to go to. A day out usually entailed a drive in the car and walks on the beach, river or hills.

Over these last few weeks both Bear and my Pop have been brilliant in getting us motivated to doing things, sometimes just around home, but also by getting out.

As I have already mentioned many times this week, our next adventure is meeting Bears friends and going “somewhere” to have a BBQ.

This morning was the first morning since I have known Bear (just a few weeks) that we actually cuddled and it was nice, well until the imps arrived and then blast it they climbed on the couch between us.

I have been worried that I find myself being drawn to “Bear” in more ways than I intended, I think the main aspect is our age difference and that he is actually only 4 years younger than my father.

The girls love him and I love him as a friend, but I do find myself wondering if we could be more than that.

He is not what I would have picked as a partner, by looks he is rather nice looking, certainly if not obese he is amply provided for in the cuddle factor; but the physical aspects aside he is very supportive of me and the girls, he asks for nothing but is always there if I need a hand. He confuses me and I think its because I am so damn curious and he is so mysterious.

Most important of all I find he has a very deep sense of a spiritual presence and is very knowing in things, so all these things seemed to have hit me this morning; just when I didn’t expect it.

I best get of here and go to work, I think my head needs some space, and then of course I am meeting his friends who in his words are “much younger and much better looking than me”.

So why is he so keen for me to meet them, especially after this morning.

Slap me I need help

Im a lucky girl

I feel great tonight, the girls and I had our hair done today and we are ready to party, with no party to go too.

Pop took the girls and I out to dinner tonight, it was great to get out and be normal people rather than just being mum, cook and bottle washer.

I came home from having my hair done to find Talia’s room has not only been repaired back to normal, but Bear has started painting it and kept painting while Pop took the girls and I out. He wanted to get it finished, and now finished it is.

I am blown away by the really nice things my Pop and my Bear have done for us this week, it has been an awesome week and I am indeed a lucky girl.

We are all prepared for our big weekend, Bear has a lot of people coming I was expecting just his friends from the US, but he has others coming in from Oxford and god only knows where else. I still don’t know where all this is happening, but I am really excited, sort of like a early xmas, and I love meeting new people anyway.

His two US friends are called Mal and Speedi, (I love all the nick names people Bear knows seem to have) are coming into Christchurch tomorrow and we are then going somewhere special but I am not meant to know.

Apparently Mal has brought land somewhere round the Oxford region and is to build a home there, and it seems to be close to where Bear lives but I haven’t seen Bear's place yet, though Pop has. He had to drive Bear out there the other day, he says Bears house is being rebuilt; it is small but nice and modern.

Little by little I am learning more about my cuddly ole Bear but goodness it is like pulling teeth grrrr.

Well we are all hunkering down for an early night, I have Bear staying over (he’s on the couch Paula you nosey wench), he is busy making supper (awwww so nice to have a man doing that).

Well good night peps.

Thursday

Hi Guys

I came from work yesterday to a beautifully painted bedroom, Carla is over the moon though she can’t sleep in it just yet due to the paint smell she wants her friends to come around as soon as possible and see it.

The “grumpies” did listen to her it seems and they have painted the room a light pastel pink and it looks awesome. Today they are due to start on Talia’s room, more demolitions but now that I have seen the finished product I am not concerned.

I had an brilliant day at work yesterday, I must admit working at the Palms shopping centre  is so different that shuffling papers at University. You get to met such a variety of people which I just love.

Im off to get my hair done after work, I am really looking forward to the weekend when we are going to have a BBQ catch up with some of “Bears” friends from the United States. There are 2 of them and one of them has two sons, both of whom are way older than my two girls but for Carla at least that is no challenge. She is no doubt like her mother and attracted to older men, grrrrr I will have to watch that girl.

I have been having a really big think about the area we live in, since the major earthquakes so much has changed. Many of the neighbours have gone and so many houses have been pulled down or are vacant. It is so sad to walk down a road that not so long ago was bustling with young families and elderly people who had lived in the area for generations.

The roads are broken and have been under repair for months while others haven’t even started to be repaired.

Last week the very nice and friendly Gentleman who owns the corner store was attacked and stabbed, something that would have been almost unthinkable  2 years ago. I never go for walks at night now, whereas it was something the Girls and I loved doing.

It seems the destruction an earthquake can cause is insignificant to the destruction the long term effects can have on society.

Well I must go to work now, Pop has arrived to start demolishing Talia’s room (err that is repairing), Bear won’t be in until this afternoon, he is picking the Girls up from school and then meeting me after work, then the girls and I go and get our hair done, Bear doesn’t bother as he says he has so little hair each strand feels like family and he doesn’t want to hurt them; idiot.

Deep thoughts

Hi Guys

I had a lovely night last night, Pop and Bear stayed for dinner and the after Pop left I went to art class while bear baby sat the girls.

I have often raved about art, but frankly I just want to be able to do more and better. Last night I tried some charcoal drawings which is way different to what I am used to, but hey now I have discovered another aspect I want to work. So much to learn and so little time, I need several lifetimes to do all the things I want to do. Maybe I have had them and I am just a slow learner, which would be a real bummer.

Bear stayed overnight, first time and it was strange hearing the deep snoring coming from my lounge couch and oh I had forgotten the other issue with having a man in the house overnight, the toilet seat.

It was nice to wake up and find bear and the girls wrapped in blankets in front of the TV, sort of reminds me of what I miss in not having a partner.

We had a lovely breakfast and Bear has just taken the girls to school while I tidy up and do my morning scribblings.

Last night my girl friends asked me about the relationship with Bear, so I will let them know here and now.

Bear is my friend, not a lover or Partner; he has been an immense support to me and best of all the best confident a person can have. He is patient, I have never once heard a angry word (unless he is talking to insurance type people) and the girls love him and whats more I trust him with them.

Bear is almost 20 years older than me, but age isnt the issue, it is timing. Both Bear and I have come out of relationships that ended abruptly or in my case with really nasty implications. It has taken me a while to trust having a man around and I have to thank Pop for introducing me to Bear who has taken to being my emotional support with all the love and tenderness only an elder man can show.

Last night we discussed relationships and I have learnt a lot about him and his last one, obviously he still carries a lot of love for his last partner and the two children they have. I asked why he doesn’t talk about them and there is the issue I think, so time will tell.

I hope he eventually rekindles the love he had for them, but if that is not to be then I am sure my Bear will endure.

He is a very deep man, hugely complex to understand. He is practical but deeply spiritual. Kind of sounds like the ultimate partner, and apart from our own issues he may have been. Regardless of what lies in our future Bear will always be the girls and my best friend.

Talia told me this morning when we were secretly talking about Bear,

“We already have a grand poppy mummy, why cant Bear be our new daddy”.

The innocence of children, and I can see a lot more talking required.

If you are reading this Bear

We all love you.

Finishing the Day

 Hi Guys

Well I have to take my hat off to my Pop, the room looks beautiful, well will do when its painted, which I had intended to do on the weekend but Pop has decided he will do it tomorrow.

As it turned out my weekend got sort of organised for me by My big bear anyway, and I dont think painting is part of his plans. From what I heard on the phone we are having a picnic (ummmm yeah right) or BBQ with his friends, so socialising is in and painting the rooms out, thats ok I can live with that.

 

My big bear man was going to come and help Pop but he got caught up with having to go out and see his new house being built he is having a few issues with the builder, boy I would hate to be that man. Good news for the girls is he is coming for tea, they love having him around, especially his dry and sometimes awful stories. He gets to babysit the girls while I go off to art class, I am really looking forward to it.

Next week Pop will do Talia’s room and then MY ROOM. I am really worried because it is costing Pop a lot of money but he insists on doing it so that’s all there is to it. If anyone knows my Pop they know that he is a obstinate, stubborn old mule, so in regard to my dad its easier to go with the flow rather than bumping heads with him. Already we can feel the difference in Carla’s room, no drafts through the cracks in the wall, no bits of plaster chipping off and best of all not moisture coming in from the outside.

Its been a beautiful day here, I just love days when you get a crispy frost and then sun all day. I had a great day at work, I have just been told I am going to be on permanent staff now, so thats awesome; my bank manager will be so pleased (relieved), and we all know we must pleasure those little souls huh.

I walked home today in the sun, I love walking through Burwood park, kicking the leaves in the grass, just feeling that despite the crappy house and issues with it; its so nice to be in the sun.

Well I best go because big bear man has just arrived up my drive, so Im off to tell him off for wagging work.

You all take care now.

Morning Musings

Well Yesterday I  was told in no uncertain terms by  my Pop and my Bear that they would have the  bedroom finished before the girls got home, well it was not by a long shot and as I am getting ready to go to work this morning Pop is here finishing it off; I am told my other Grumpiness will be along soon to help. Men!!!

Now the other problem in my life.

What on earth is going on with my Garden, I have tomatoes flowering, potatoes doing what they should not be doing, plants blossoming and it’s the beginning of winter next week. My garden was not doing this good in the spring, it’s absolutely mind blowing.

After picking up the girls yesterday and not wanting them hearing the expletives originating from the men wrecking or in their terminology repairing the bedroom, the girls and I decided to do some winter gardening.

Thanks to one of the Grumpies I have 6 very large Garden boxes, and now they are ready for the winter, it’s my hope to get a small glass house in the next few weeks, and then I will be ready for the spring plantings, this time in spring time. Last season I had my plants in early but they just did not do any good at all, it was so darn infuriating to see how sluggish the plants grew. In fact they did not really start growing until late summer and as I just said above they are now still growing, so hopefully being more prepared this year I can get an early start on them.

I have art class to night, I am really looking forward to it, I just wish I was good enough to be able to sell what I do rather than just admiring everyone’s else’s work.

Pop brought me a whole host of canvases for Mothers day, so I don’t really have an excuse to get out and try my luck. I had hoped to get out on Saturday and try some landscaping, but Mr. Bear has friends coming from overseas and others from up north and he wants me to meet them. When he told me it sounded a bit like he was asking me to come home with him to met his mother, he is so quaint and odd, you just can’t help but like the pants of him (figuratively not literally) . It will be cool meeting his friends because I really do not know many of them so it will be nice to touch base with some, perhaps grill them for a little more info on my mysterious Mr. Bear.

Interesting problem, I was just about to finish off here and leave for work and I see out of my window the road workers have blocked my driveway with large concrete pipes, boy when Pop sees that he is going to raise the roof, as will Mr Bear when he comes. Oh dear more expletives from the 2 grumpies, Just as well that Im not here I guess; I best get walking thank god I only live 10 minutes walk from work.

Now you all take care.

The Two Grumpies

I Love Mondays

Yes I know I am different than most people who generally hate Mondays, but for me Monday is a half day at work, which normally I can come home to some peace and quiet before I go and get the girls from school.

That is the way it normally works, today I come home and find Pop and Bear demolishing Carla’s room. The theory is they are repairing it but quite frankly it looks like it is being destroyed.

Last Friday Pop had rung CERA (that is the earthquake rebuild people) wanting to find out when they were coming to do the repairs, well he got nowhere except raising his blood pressure up several points.

He must have fumed about it all weekend and this morning he went and brought some wall board stuff and says he is repairing it himself, I told him he was putting my repairs at risk and he said %#@^*&## (Grumpiness terms for phooey), if they want to rip it down when they come they can, but he is not having his grand children sleeping in cold, drafty and damaged bedrooms. Meanwhile Bear is in the background  barracking with laughter and covered all white with messy poweder stuff, as is the rest of my house grrrr.

So despite the expense he has gone and started the repairs, he even managed to rope in my Bear to help and together they are very much the “Two Grumpy Men”.

No one would dare mention CERA, EQC or Insurance companies around here today, should they arrive today to do their assessment I would fear for their lives.

So by the time the girls come home they will have the new wall boards up and plastered or whatever they do to wall boards. Got to say I am very pleasantly surprised but in fear of what the earthquake people will say, but I think Pop and Bear will be here when they come, if they eventually come, so the two grumpy men will handle that drama.

It means on the weekend the girls and I can get down to some painting, both grumpies did mention I was not allowed pink, but hey girls rule in our own bedrooms don’t we.

I definitely need a camera, too much happening not to have piccies.

Mother Earth does not sleep

Well another restless night/morning thanks to mother earth and her earthquakes. We have had another host of shakes (10 in 24 hrs) and I am getting sick and tired of them.
As for the girls, well they get quite upset, especially Talia my youngest (7). She was in my bed seconds after the first major shake this morning, sadly that meant mum doesnt get the sleep she deserves as we chat things through until gentle snores means Im allowed to go to sleep.
I finally drift off and another EQ goes of and poor little Talia is again the petrified little girl. As for Carla (10) she deals with them at night because she sleeps the sleep of the dead, nothing wakes her. But during the day it is quite different and she can and does get upset with them.

All our big fears are the house we live in now will get damaged even more and we are forced to move, quite frankly I dont know where we would go as Christchurch has a real shortage of housing at the moment.
Our house has cracked foundations, badly broken walls and roof and a sloping floor, yet we live here because our choices are nil. We have been told they are coming to do the repairs and we have waited 4 months now and they still dont come.

We now have winter upon us and I am betting that is the time we will be told we will have to leave. My dear Mr Bear said we can camp at his place, but that is still being rebuilt after a fire; and it would mean leaving Christchurch and schools for about 8 weeks.

My Pops "lady friend" says we could stay with her, but she lives on her own apart from the occasional stay over from Pop and Mr Bear (dont ask - long story), but as we dont know her terribly well I dont think that is an option.So for now we just sit an wait, I guess the longer it takes for them to come the better chance we have of getting back to warmer weather, assuming of course the house stays in one piece, and that brings us back to our hopes and fears.

My first

Well hi there

I guess one of the first things about making a blog is one needs to have a decent Camera, so I am promising myself that I will splurge out and buy a decent one.

The funny thing is I am really good with things in my hand, give me a paint brush or modeling knife, even sewing and I am fine, give me a digital Camera to work and the brain just ceases to function. I don’t know what it is about technology that just seems to leave me dead, even a computer was a major challenge until my Ex and our girls sat me down and explained things patiently and oh so very deliberately. So the challenge of new camera is my nest techie challenge.

I’m told all I need is a point and click sort, yeah right. I bet point and clicks have buttons levers and gadgets than need fine tuning.

Anyway without a camera there just seems my musings to make do with.

I live in a city that has been broken and shaken by earthquakes over the last 2 years. My first house was broken by the shake February and we moved into our current home only to have it damaged in the June quake. However like most people in Christchurch, we are making do, in fact better than making do.

I have two very beautiful daughters who are my rocks in life. They have had a torrid time in growing up but they have always risen above it, I often feel they are bringing me up rather than the other way around.

We came out of an abusive relationship just a few months ago. My Ex the children’s father changed in the February earthquake. He was in town at work and the things that happened shook him far greater than any of us first thought.

He changed virtually overnight and despite counseling and countless doctors’ visit he just could not pull out of the depression he went into. Then one day I came home from work to find he was drunk and mucking around with his gun while the girls were in the other room, I sort of panicked and lost it. The end of the unpleasant episode was I had a black eye and a bruised lip and the girls ran from the house screaming.

The police came took him away, he came home later that night and we talked things through. I really thought things might be better now that he had what I hoped was the bottom of his slide, but it wasn’t and the drinking and abuse continued.

Finally I had to separate from him just to protect myself and the children; they were traumatised by his behavior.

Since he left the girls and I have grown stronger and better. We have made our broken home our fortress from the ugly things in life, except of course the bad memories and only time will send them to the shade.

I used to work at the university but recently managed to get a new job closer to home, it’s been great having less demands on my time and being able to be home when the girls leave school.

The girls rooms are pink delights, they work on the theory if its pink its beautiful, everything from dolls to curtains have to be shades of pink, I’m a pink girl myself but those rooms are garish; but they are their rooms and as long as they are TIDY (Yes Carla I mean you grrr)  I am happy.

Until very recently I couldn’t do much to the garden, it needed some man type muscle and not having one around was very limiting in that respect, however over the last few weeks I met my “cuddly bear” though a lot older than me (shhhhh) he is kind gentle man; whats more he has cleaned my gardens up a real treat. Now I just can’t wait for the spring. I am already full of ideas of what to do, so much so I fear poor old bear may run for his life, but no he just nods his head and potters away.

Even while I am at work he is busy cleaning up and when I come home he will often have been and gone I sometimes feel like I need to go and check the number on the letterbox just to make sure I’m in the right address.

Its nice to know there are some people who have little in the way of expectations but give so much of themselves, and my bear is one of those people.

The other thing is I am a very spiritual person (note not religious) and the bear is equally a strong spiritual person, but there are aspects of him and the depths of his spirituality I don’t fully understand yet, but that’s ok. He keeps his beliefs to himself unless I prod and he then very patiently explains things to me, but I have learnt there are things deeper in that man than I fully comprehend.

Besides the girls love him and I have to give him his due credit he is very patient with all things pink.

Now to other meanderings, recently I started attending more art classes, it’s been brilliant to be able to do that as art really is the passion of my life. I just want to be able to learn more and more about it. I dont know if I am ever going to be a “good” artist but I enjoy doing the things I do and I guess thats what art is all about. When I put a brush in my hand all the troubles of the world go away and I lose myself.

I have recently extended my “art” experience into painting small lead figures, my bear is a wargamer and history buff so he has a collection of small lead figures, now his eyes are not as good as they were so I volunteered to paint them for him and lo and behold I found I love doing it.

Sitting on the desk beside me I have 20 little brightly painted men in their bright Napoleonic uniforms. So in one way it’s my way of repaying bear for the kindness he has shown the girls and I.

I have tried other things apart from painting, I enjoy felting and sewing as well, in my last house I had a clay kiln and equipment but that has all gone thanks to earthquakes, hopefully one day and insurance companies being willing (yeah right)  I may have the money to reinvest in my sculpturing/ modeling side.

Now I must go and check the girls, it’s gone very quiet which means I suspect they are up to no good, so for now my friends - byeeeee