My first

Well hi there

I guess one of the first things about making a blog is one needs to have a decent Camera, so I am promising myself that I will splurge out and buy a decent one.

The funny thing is I am really good with things in my hand, give me a paint brush or modeling knife, even sewing and I am fine, give me a digital Camera to work and the brain just ceases to function. I don’t know what it is about technology that just seems to leave me dead, even a computer was a major challenge until my Ex and our girls sat me down and explained things patiently and oh so very deliberately. So the challenge of new camera is my nest techie challenge.

I’m told all I need is a point and click sort, yeah right. I bet point and clicks have buttons levers and gadgets than need fine tuning.

Anyway without a camera there just seems my musings to make do with.

I live in a city that has been broken and shaken by earthquakes over the last 2 years. My first house was broken by the shake February and we moved into our current home only to have it damaged in the June quake. However like most people in Christchurch, we are making do, in fact better than making do.

I have two very beautiful daughters who are my rocks in life. They have had a torrid time in growing up but they have always risen above it, I often feel they are bringing me up rather than the other way around.

We came out of an abusive relationship just a few months ago. My Ex the children’s father changed in the February earthquake. He was in town at work and the things that happened shook him far greater than any of us first thought.

He changed virtually overnight and despite counseling and countless doctors’ visit he just could not pull out of the depression he went into. Then one day I came home from work to find he was drunk and mucking around with his gun while the girls were in the other room, I sort of panicked and lost it. The end of the unpleasant episode was I had a black eye and a bruised lip and the girls ran from the house screaming.

The police came took him away, he came home later that night and we talked things through. I really thought things might be better now that he had what I hoped was the bottom of his slide, but it wasn’t and the drinking and abuse continued.

Finally I had to separate from him just to protect myself and the children; they were traumatised by his behavior.

Since he left the girls and I have grown stronger and better. We have made our broken home our fortress from the ugly things in life, except of course the bad memories and only time will send them to the shade.

I used to work at the university but recently managed to get a new job closer to home, it’s been great having less demands on my time and being able to be home when the girls leave school.

The girls rooms are pink delights, they work on the theory if its pink its beautiful, everything from dolls to curtains have to be shades of pink, I’m a pink girl myself but those rooms are garish; but they are their rooms and as long as they are TIDY (Yes Carla I mean you grrr)  I am happy.

Until very recently I couldn’t do much to the garden, it needed some man type muscle and not having one around was very limiting in that respect, however over the last few weeks I met my “cuddly bear” though a lot older than me (shhhhh) he is kind gentle man; whats more he has cleaned my gardens up a real treat. Now I just can’t wait for the spring. I am already full of ideas of what to do, so much so I fear poor old bear may run for his life, but no he just nods his head and potters away.

Even while I am at work he is busy cleaning up and when I come home he will often have been and gone I sometimes feel like I need to go and check the number on the letterbox just to make sure I’m in the right address.

Its nice to know there are some people who have little in the way of expectations but give so much of themselves, and my bear is one of those people.

The other thing is I am a very spiritual person (note not religious) and the bear is equally a strong spiritual person, but there are aspects of him and the depths of his spirituality I don’t fully understand yet, but that’s ok. He keeps his beliefs to himself unless I prod and he then very patiently explains things to me, but I have learnt there are things deeper in that man than I fully comprehend.

Besides the girls love him and I have to give him his due credit he is very patient with all things pink.

Now to other meanderings, recently I started attending more art classes, it’s been brilliant to be able to do that as art really is the passion of my life. I just want to be able to learn more and more about it. I dont know if I am ever going to be a “good” artist but I enjoy doing the things I do and I guess thats what art is all about. When I put a brush in my hand all the troubles of the world go away and I lose myself.

I have recently extended my “art” experience into painting small lead figures, my bear is a wargamer and history buff so he has a collection of small lead figures, now his eyes are not as good as they were so I volunteered to paint them for him and lo and behold I found I love doing it.

Sitting on the desk beside me I have 20 little brightly painted men in their bright Napoleonic uniforms. So in one way it’s my way of repaying bear for the kindness he has shown the girls and I.

I have tried other things apart from painting, I enjoy felting and sewing as well, in my last house I had a clay kiln and equipment but that has all gone thanks to earthquakes, hopefully one day and insurance companies being willing (yeah right)  I may have the money to reinvest in my sculpturing/ modeling side.

Now I must go and check the girls, it’s gone very quiet which means I suspect they are up to no good, so for now my friends - byeeeee