Thursday night

It has been an odd day to day, with some highs and some lows. The high was undoubtedly the baby shopping and looking for an engagement ring, the low was Bear has decided he cant do the gardens on his own; so he has decided to make it a limited co-op. I know how much Bear wanted this to be his dream, but today he has told us he is not well and he expects that he may not be able to see his project through.

Fortunately he has been discussing this possibility of a co-op with some friends and this weekend they are coming out to the gardens to discuss some sort of co-op. When he suggested a co-op last week I was somewhat baffled because he originally was so determined that this was his project and he didn’t want people telling him what to do, and in a week a complete reversal.  I could see how sad Bear was in coming to this decision and he told us in the car on the way into town today and both Jas and I were dumbstruck. Looking back now it does explain the almost suicidal pace he was pushing himself to get things done; he has not and will not tell us what is wrong with him. Last night I commented on how pasty and bloated he looked, today he looked better but he is still quite bloated. I asked him what was wrong and all he said was he was tired all the time and he felt he was losing energy, he said he has been to the hospital this afternoon for tests but he does not know the results yet.

He does not want the idea of the gardens to flounder just because he isn’t feeling the best and he has numerous friends who are interested in helping or joining him. So from that perspective the day has not been a good one.

We have started collecting baby stuff and the first thing is we have a new “pram” though Jas thinks we could motorise it and use it to cart hay. One of the stores had a special on nappies so we all were in there buying up a stock. Jason went mad buying rattles and baby toys; he has spent most of the night trying out to see how they work.

We haven’t seen the engagement ring we want, most are so expensive and I don’t want a flashy one, I just want one that is elegant and simple, so we are still looking.

Tomorrow we have a day working on the farm, so I best get an early night because Jas is going to show me how some of the equipment works, but according to him “my delicate condition” precludes me from riding the quad bike pfffft.

So good night all and my prays out to bear tonight, I know he is not a happy man.