Well we had a very rough night here and if it wasnt Bear snoring he was tossing and turning in his sleep, he at one stage broke out in a very high temperature and to add to the scary moments in my bed he was talking in a language I didnt understand and then he just went into a very deep sleep. Meanwhile it left me wondering what on earth I have here beside me. He tells me that sometimes at night he goes into a trance like sleep, it is one of the reasons why he cant sleep in the same bed with someone. (Nice too know now hehehehe)
He has decided to go back to the other room, I dont want him too and we had a bit of an arguement but he is right in that too many nights of broken sleep and I will be doing my own zombie like trance thing in the day time. So I guess its going to be tip toeing between rooms.
However lack of sleep aside the spiritual aspect of my Bear is quite scary, it seems every few days I see another side of him. He is an extremely complex man and to hear him talk of the spiritual aspect of things is totally amazing, however he is very wary of me becoming involved as he says it has demands and energies that can be counter productive to relationships. So we keep it at arms length, however that aside my sense of curiosity means I keep asking even if I shouldnt.
I am very aware that Bear needs "time alone", and it is not uncommon to find him sitting on the back lawn just meditating or simply as he calls it "just being there" or centering himself. The girls are aware of this so we simply leave him alone out there.
However apart from snores and talking in strange languages in his sleep my Bear is very loveable, caring and compassionate. Yesterday I saw another side to him (yet again) at the funeral, he was very supportive of Jason and his family and extremely protective of them for example when Jason's extended family broached the subject of the will (yes very bad taste on the day of the funeral), Bear took them aside and gave them a "stern talking too". Lots of finger wagging and very stern looks on that growly face of his.
My poor Carla had a bad night her leg hurts so it is as well she is staying home today, which of course means Talia wants to stay home with her Gran Pop as well. The really good thing about being woken up early is I get to have first shower, oh the luxury of my own time under hot water.
Now the funeral is over I am very much looking forward to normal times again. I want to get back to my painting which I have missed and I want to "winterise the new garden beds and garden plots.
Pop is working on repairs to my garage, which has some serious earthquake damage, by the time the insurance money comes Pop will already have done all the repairs necessary.
We now just have cracks on the outside wall, the Garage and the terrace and my little home will be back to pre earthquake time.
It was a year yesterday that we had the two large earthquakes and I couldnt marvel in the differences a year can make.
Ijn that time my partner became a drinking abusive brute and left me, my old house finally broke apart and for most of the year if it hadnt been for Pop I dont know how I would have managed. I moved into one of Pops rentals which he has now given me so the girls and I have a home. Then in only a month I have met Bear, since he came into my life both he and Pop both have done marvels to the house, he has given the girls something they have missed, that being a fatherly energy and he has given me love and support. So in a year it has been all slowly going up and I am eternally grateful.
I know I am a lot better off than a lot of other people in Christchurch and for that I give thanks to god, for I am sure I am not good at managing on my own.
Well I best get breakfast ready, Bear is taking Pops lady friend shopping this morning after he has taken Talia to school and me too work. He then will be going to the lawyers with Jason to sort out the issues the family feel they have.
I am not sure if he is staying with Jason tonight or coming back here, I better go check.
Oh I forgot to mention Mal and Speedi are going back to Wellington today to take part in the US Marine celebrations that are happening up there, we will miss them but not as much as Paula will miss Speedi. They now have a full blooming love thing going on I think.
Well I best go.
Byeee
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