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Well we are home after an absolutely lovely weekend. The girls and I had a huge amount of fun and despite a rude start this morning that looked like we would be abandoned so the men could do farm work, my darling man came back and stayed with us for the day.

I did see Bear by himself sitting in the tractor getting bounced around by the post rammer, its one good way to lose weight I guess.

Jason, the girls and I went for a drive, we called into the woman that is friends with Bear, her name is Pauline but for some reason she is called Paula by the locals; Jason knows her very well and she is lovely person. I would love to see her and Bear get along but she says he is just a good friend.

We went for a walk and Jason showed me places and tales that have happened in the area, a lot involving our Mr Bear. Apparently they had a lot of trouble in the area with gangs and bikies or some such, for a while Jason took the children away, Bear stayed and looked after both farms. It seems there are some mysterious events that occurred in that time but Jason said whatever it was it worked because they stopped coming back.

When we left the farm this afternoon  Jason loaded the car up with beef and lamb from the farm freezer so Pop and I will not be buying meat for a very long time.

When I got home Pop had the fire going so the house was nice and warm, which was very welcome  indeed.

Looking back on the weekend I have to say it was a revelation, Jason and I talked about our future and if things continue as they are I will be moving out to the farm at the end of the school year. Meanwhile it’s just a case of running back and forth.

Im not sure how I feel about having Bear living next door, there can be complications as he is not the sort of man that just drops relationships. Several times I noticed he put his arms out to hug me and then quickly pulled them down, admittedy these were automatic reflex actions but they dont help him move on, sometimes I had the feeling he disapproved of things Jason and I were doing.

I know this sounds awful, and I did talk to Bear about it, I don’t want to lose him as a friend, but I don’t want him interfering in the relationship I have with Jason.

This morning’s escapade over the fencing was a classic example where he would have been quite happy to have Jason help him at the expense of the plans Jason and I had made last night.

Bear says he accepts things as they are, but he also added that Jason needs to keep focus on the farm, it is only a month since Ewing passed away and in that time Jason has spent a lot of his time in town when the farm needs him.

What a load of rubbish, he has only stayed 3 nights in the last month, so I think it might be  a case of jealousy on behalf of our Bear. I hope I am wrong and I know he might read this but there is nothing written here that I didn’t say to him.

But overall I feel my relationship with Bear is definitely over and I am picking I won’t see a lot of him, which would make me sad. However I have to work on the relationship I have not the one I had.

The girls and Jason are getting on very well and I think the little talk I had with them seems to have helped a lot. In fact apart from the times Bear was at Jason’s place the girls hardly saw him or even spoke about him.

I think now that Bear has his Gardens and nursery underway he doesn’t need anyone.

Well I must go and get the girls clothes ready for school organised.

Take care and stay warm.